Towards the end of WWII, Elie Wiesel was among the 1.3 million prisoners who suffered under the oppression of the Nazi German concentration camp in Auschwitz. When the war ended and the allies freed the survivors, 1.1 of the 1.3 million prisoners had been killed. Wiesel was one of the small percentage of prisoners who walked out alive. Although he vowed to wait 10 years before writing about the horrors of Auschwitz, he knew his story needed to be told so the world would not forget the inhumanity and suffering of his people. The banning of the book 'Night' by Elie Wiesel is a difficult pill for me to swallow. I am well aware of the fact that this memoir is detailed and descriptive. Discussing the Holocaust is not a light topic and, in my opinion, should not be taken lightly. Before we know it, the small number of Holocaust survivors will be obsolete. If we stop talking about inhumanity, if we stop reading about the Holocaust because we don't like the violence or feel the memoirs written by survivors condone violence, I feel that we are doing a great disservice to mankind. I think Wiesel said it best in his acceptance speech for the 1986 Nobel Prize. "We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men or women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must – at that moment – become the center of the universe." #bannedbooks2017

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'A Light in the Attic,' Shel Silverstein's book of poems – a classic if you ask me – was banned due to concerns that it promotes violence and disrespect. I'm guessing they didn't like my favorite Silverstein poem: Hug O' War I will not play at tug o' war I'd rather play at hug o' war, Where everyone hugs Instead of tugs Where everyone giggles And rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses And everyone grins And everyone cuddles And everyone wins. #bannedbooksweek2017

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Banned Books Week is here. I love the awareness this debate brings and always find the reasoning behind wanting to ban a book quite intriguing. I think most people would be surprised by the books that have been on the list. The ALA (American Library Association) reported that, "One of the most challenged books on record is the Harry Potter series, which topped the aggregated 2000-2009 ranking of the decade." Harry Potter? The lightning bolt scarred, butterbeer drinking, broken glasses wearing wizard, who became every nerd"s hero, was hexed over and over again. I'm not lying people. Google it. Hermione Granger, a mere half wizard/half muggle who loves books and libraries, quickly became my favorite in the series. She didn't believe in breaking rules but she got the banned book boot. In 1999, the book was challenged 472 times. It rose to 646 in 2000. 17 years later, the books are still being challenged, making it the #1 challenged book of all time in the US. I'd like to raise a glass of butterbeer (does not contain alcohol) to all of my HP friends who bravely read and loved J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. #freedomofspeech

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A sleepy boy . . .

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As you can see from this very fuzzy photo of Beckerman, he absolutely, positively loved every second of my forcing him to wear a Coca-Cola 12 can box. #iamameanie #beckermanmojibailey

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😊

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"Our lives are like quilts bits and pieces, joy and sorrow, stitched with love." I recently walked into my tv room, sat down on the couch, reached for my book on the coffee table and then noticed this beautiful table runner. My sweet mom's amazing sewing ability, beautiful hand and needlework, wool work expertise, mad quilting skills, fun touches of seasonal decor, and overall art and craft capabilities are endless. I treasure every handmade gift she's bestowed upon me. In fact, I still have the very first doll she made for me 40 years ago. It's a Raggedy Ann doll complete with a red, hand-stitched heart and the date of my heart operation. Although it is gently tucked away in my box of treasures, I find that my level of gratitude for such an intimate and heartwarming gift grows stronger as I age and become more aware and appreciative of family, love, and tender mercies. I'm not sure my mom will ever truly know how much her thoughtful gifts mean to me, especially because there is no end to her selfless love and service. She will quietly load and unload my dishwasher when I've had a hard time getting out of bed. She'll put the clothes I left in the washing machine into the dryer. She'll bring down a plate of warm cookies and leave them on my counter. She'll clean my bathroom when she knows I've been sick or am in pain or am struggling with both. She and my dad are angels who reside 12 steps above me. I think it's fairly evident to state that life isn't easy- it has never been and it never will be. Every single human being on this earth has adversity. Everyone hurts. Everyone has pain. Unfortunately, this is easily forgotten when anger, frustration and other forms of negativity slap, kick and punch us repeatedly. I, myself, am guilty of disregarding the need for humanity which is why I'm grateful I have parents who remind me to stay the course with their kind, patient, and compassionate service. If I am able to retain even the smallest portion of their goodness, I just might have a shot at surviving this gig. I may even go as far as becoming one of the angels living among us. #notsorryforthelength #writingisexcellenttherapy

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When your cousin calls and says she won a bunch of Real Salt Lake swag but isn't going to use it since they aren't soccer fans, you: A. Berate her for not loving the world's greatest sport. B. Grab the goods and run. C. After a short minute of wondering how anyone could actually hate soccer, give her a bad time and graciously accept the goods.

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Waxing nostalgic

As I waxed nostalgic last night, three small photos fell from the pages of my first diary. I can honestly say that I have no idea why, or how long, they sat as bookmarks to the entries of my elementary school outpourings: recess, boys, friends, and an undying love for Gilbert Blythe seemed to be my only concerns in the mid 80's. 

I smiled as I looked at the pictures of my brothers, noticing some common traits between the three of them and my nephews. All of the sudden I remembered a FB memory I had scrolled through earlier in the day. I logged back on and decided to have a bit of fun with the comparisons. My brothers are all grown up and have lives of their own. The physical differences are obvious; they don't have baby faces anymore. Changes in height, weight, hair color, and facial hair are evident. However, a few things are the same: Jason still has a tender heart and also reigns as one of the funniest people I know; Brent continues to reach out to those in need and has made an impression on my niece when it comes to including others; Craig is still one of the hardest workers I've ever known. He is willing to put time and effort into his projects as well as helping others in need. I'm older than all of them, but they take care of me. They are good, kind, loyal men and I am proud of each one of them. My three brothers aren't perfect, but I wouldn't change the memories we've made for anything.

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My main man

We shared an apple, bowled with all of his favorite toys, played outside with tennis balls and squeaky bones, took a walk, and then after one more round of throwing tennis balls around outside, we came inside and he stretched out, rolled onto his side and was snoring in no time. This man of mine makes me laugh, keeps me preoccupied, and has found a permanent home in my heart.

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Beckerman and the Vegas boys

After almost a full week of fun with his Las Vegas boys, Beckerman was tuckered out. They played tug-of-war, chased each other, jumped up and down, wrestled, threw toys and tennis balls, went for walks and picnics, took trips to the park, watched fireworks, laughed and giggled, dropped plenty of treats for Beckerman to enjoy, and then fell asleep each night, only to awaken the next morning ready for more adventure. It's safe to say that Becks is attached to his Vegas buddies since he tried to sneak into the van as they were getting ready to leave. He loved being around boys and can't wait for their next visit. Thanks Jackie Chan, Owie-O, and Graham-mar time for including Beckerman in all the fun. We all loved having you here. 

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California love!

California has a special place in my heart. I served in the California Roseville mission (north of Sacramento to the Oregon/California border) 1,000 years ago, and although impartial to the redwood trees and NoCal feel, I have grown to love SoCal as well. 

My parents know of my love for Cali and knew I needed a respite/a getaway/a reset. They booked a 5 day trip for my mom and I without my knowledge. It was what I needed and I am truly humbled and grateful for their love, patience, and understanding. 

You see, I'm not easy to love right now; but, they continue to support me and haven't given up on me. My life has made some unexpected terms and I'm blindly grasping for every ounce of hope I can find. I'd be lost without them . . . a

statement I can make both literally and figuratively. Thank you, mom and dad, for all you have done and continue to do for me. And mom, thank you for wrapping your arms around my prickly exterior this last week. I will always need you: 

"She makes broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walks with the Universe on her shoulders and makes it look like a pair of wings." -Ariana Dancu

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Happy Birthday Beckerman!

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This is my brave ...

I came across a quote recently that speaks volumes. I realized that I have to include the bad (or difficult) parts of me in addition to the good. If not, I'm cheating my true self. The interpretation, of course, is different for all of us, but I think it is safe to say that our flaws and failures are just as much a part of us as our good attributes and achievements. I don't know if it is acceptance, a swallowing of pride, or a recognition of growth. I just know I can't demand the warmth of the sun without acknowledging my shadow: "You never realize how much of your background is sewn into the lining of your clothes." -Tom Wolfe 

I am in love with the power words hold. 

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Tuesdays with my boy. And yes, I bought him a purple cow with a squeaky hot pink udder!

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A year ago . . .

A year ago today, we let go of Mia. I have so many things I want to say, but the quote over the picture of Mia and the one in this post do a good job of summing up a lot of what I'm feeling. I'd be lying if I said this last year has been easy; It has been a bit rough but I'm trying to find and focus on the good. I'm trying to move forward. "Sometimes we make the mistake of equating the depth of our love with the depth of our pain in grief. Folks can convince themselves that if they let go of the grief, they are forgetting and dishonoring the memory of their animal pal and the relationship they had. Our animals are not asking that – they are asking us to move forward, as they have" (Roper, Janet. "The Anniversary Reaction: Grieving Your Pet,." Web log post. janetroper.com. N.p., 24 Apr. 2014. Web. 9 July 2017.) I miss you Mia . . . . to the 🌙 and back! from Instagram

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Change Requires Effort

I love this beautiful message from Maya Angelou. "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution." 

I have found that reacting with poise and grace don't always come naturally for me. I have always assumed that wisdom and patience were synonymous with experience and the aging process, but I have either not reached that potential or my assumption was off. Either way, I've decided that getting from A to Z requires trudging through 24 additional letters and, therefore, it may be best to simplify my outlook with three words- Change requires effort. The fact that these three words can be used as both nouns and verbs (and adjectives, adverbs, etc.) is a bit daunting and may just be challenge enough; however, if I can keep it simple, I may just find myself wringing out the water in someone else's dark cloud.

When in winter . . .

The first winter storm

Holds moments to behold

As each graceful flake

Bathes in city lights' glow

The sidewalks fall empty

Streets darken like coal

Quiet whispers of angels

Lie in each bed of snow.

-T.B. Williams

A dimmed light

The weight of darkness
Vanishes in light
A light spring in step
Replaces the aching fight

Run down through the meadow
Let your fingers touch the grass
Sing with symphonies of birds
Watch the river trickle past

Look up to the blue
And cotton stuffed sky
Mimic movements of clouds
As they slowly stretch by

Let the sunshine give kisses
Warming your face and your soul
Breathe in the fresh air
Wiggle each finger and toe

Remember these moments
Remember them all
For tomorrow you'll go back
Tomorrow you'll fall.

T.B. Williams 11/2016